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My interest in the paranormal was ignited yet again earlier today after a rather nice whiskey tumbler on my kitchen work top picked itself up and threw itself against the wall. Now I don’t drink but do like to have fine crystal in the cupboard.
I am assuming the former departed residence of my property were not crazy about the sausage casserole I was cooking at the time. Needless to say its not first or last time I shall have had the willies put up me by something strange occurring around the house. No pun intended of course! Hastily the Laphroaig was resurrected from the bottom of the wardrobe and vastly consumed. And I thought the only strange thing in my neighbourhood was old Martha next door who has a habit of accidentally flashing me when she puts the bins out whilst wearing her nightie. Who ya gonna call? Southwark Social Services dear! That’s not something this old dame needs to see whilst perched in the bay window watching the local rowing team jogging up and down Southwark Bridge Road.
My Aunt Anne recently shared with me as to how she had had the pleasure to join her Majesty for a celebratory lunch to mark the occasion of her and 99 fellow Englishmen & women’s 80th birthdays. Now Anne has never done anything worthy of this type of recognition and I can only assume it was because they were at school together - that she was even considered.
On speaking to her afterwards she remarked how nervous she was to meet her again after all this time and how she had been practising her curtsy all week. My Aunt, very old school you know, challenging me to “one up man-ship”, asked if I had ever had to curtsy before a queen to which I replied “of course not” - but have had to kneel in front of several in my time. Bless her. She “faked” looking confused for while –knowing of course that one is – in cricketing terms, batting for the other wicket and she never passes up an opportunity to make a joke of it.
The joke is, of course, on her as I know, but she doesn’t know that I know, that she is a raving lesbo and has been munching on her long time “luncheon” partner “Jane” (who just happens to live next door) for a least the last 48 years. It’s a long standing family joke though as the favourite Nephew I stand to get everything so I humour her as much as necessary.
