AFTER NEARLY FOUR YEARS IN LONDON

• i've learned that you cannot make someone love love you. all you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in
• i've learned that no matter how much i care, some people are just arseholes
• i've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it
• i've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. after that, you'd better have a big willy or huge boobs
• i've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up that you think
• i've learned that you can keep on vomiting long after you think you're finished
• i've learned that we are responible for what we do, unless we are celebrities
• i've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place
• i've learned that the people you care the most about in life are taken from you too soon, and all the less important ones just never go away