Coming out
18th August, 2007
How old were you, when you realised?
At some point every gay person gets asked the same question about how old they were when they knew they were gay?It’s usually asked by straight friends who are looking for reassurance that we’ve not secretly perved over them in the sand pit at school.
The easiest answer is to give the age when you finally realised what being gay actually meant, being attracted to the same sex. For me this was about 15 or 16. Or the second best answer is the age when you finally had sex with another gay person, 17 for me.But to be truthful, once I understood what being gay meant, I suddenly realised that a lot of my acting out from the age 7 upwards was in fact me exploring my sexuality or my homosexuality.
For example I was totally into Star Wars when I was 7 and collected the figures and toys. I also used to get my mum’s white petty coat and wear it as a halter top and pretend to be Princess Leia. My favourite Star Wars figure was Princess Leia and my favourite Muppet was Miss Piggy (a perfect gay role model).
Then my sister came along and my mum appreciated that I could keep her occupied. What she didn’t realise was this gave me the perfect opportunity to play with Barbie’s with my little sister. When she tried to rectify this by buying me an Action Man, this only lead to our Barbie games being about which one Action Man would marry. He was nothing more than a bit player in our games.
A little bit older and I suddenly got a fascination for looking at the men’s underwear pages in catalogues. At the time I knew it wasn’t normal, as my friends all wanted to look at the bra’s, but I couldn’t put a gay label on it as I didn’t understand what being gay was.
It is only when you realise you are gay that you can think back and understand why you wanted to play with Barbie, or preferred dressing up in your mums clothes or in my case secretly wanting to be Wonder Woman in that red and gold bustier and blue hot pants.
Luckily for me I out grew Wonder Woman and got into guys and I have never looked back. Luckily today we live in a more informed and understanding society so I’m sure when the next generation of gay men and women are asked this question they’ll be cool with saying they knew from an early.
For example I was totally into Star Wars when I was 7 and collected the figures and toys. I also used to get my mum’s white petty coat and wear it as a halter top and pretend to be Princess Leia. My favourite Star Wars figure was Princess Leia and my favourite Muppet was Miss Piggy (a perfect gay role model).
Then my sister came along and my mum appreciated that I could keep her occupied. What she didn’t realise was this gave me the perfect opportunity to play with Barbie’s with my little sister. When she tried to rectify this by buying me an Action Man, this only lead to our Barbie games being about which one Action Man would marry. He was nothing more than a bit player in our games.
A little bit older and I suddenly got a fascination for looking at the men’s underwear pages in catalogues. At the time I knew it wasn’t normal, as my friends all wanted to look at the bra’s, but I couldn’t put a gay label on it as I didn’t understand what being gay was.
It is only when you realise you are gay that you can think back and understand why you wanted to play with Barbie, or preferred dressing up in your mums clothes or in my case secretly wanting to be Wonder Woman in that red and gold bustier and blue hot pants.Luckily for me I out grew Wonder Woman and got into guys and I have never looked back. Luckily today we live in a more informed and understanding society so I’m sure when the next generation of gay men and women are asked this question they’ll be cool with saying they knew from an early.
To read more go to: http://poobaba-backfromthebrink.blogspot.com/
26th July, 2007
BBC Needs Gay Participants
BBC Radio Five Live ( www.bbc.co.uk/fivelive ) is planning a special
programme on coming out in the UK. Forty years after the legalisation of
homosexuality how much have attitudes really changed in this country? We
are looking for a young adult who has recently come out. We would like
to bring our presenter to their home, and talk, not just to them but to
their family and the community around them. This might include
parent(s), siblings, grandparents, friends etc. If you are interested
and would like more information, please email me in confidence at
chris.jameson@bbc.co.uk.
programme on coming out in the UK. Forty years after the legalisation of
homosexuality how much have attitudes really changed in this country? We
are looking for a young adult who has recently come out. We would like
to bring our presenter to their home, and talk, not just to them but to
their family and the community around them. This might include
parent(s), siblings, grandparents, friends etc. If you are interested
and would like more information, please email me in confidence at
chris.jameson@bbc.co.uk.
9th July, 2007
Coming Out Insurance
Take a look at this little gem I found.
How did I make it through life without knowing what a Bedazzler is, and who would have thought that bedazzling was back and bigger than ever, dare I even say it....bedazzling IS the new black, and it does indeed look easy fun and fabulous.
Tana, you fierce Bedazzling bitch, you better watch out, theres a new Bedazzling Queen in town.
I dont know what I find more disturbing, the actual concept its self, Tana`s enthusiasm and the fact she searched the entire city of New York looking for one, or the fact that I would actually like one.
Remember guys and girls, "Dont be dull, Be-dazzling."
5th April, 2007
Out Outs Celebs
A lot of hooohar has been created by US magazine 'Out' naming celebs like Jodie Foster and accusing them of failing to come out of their glass closet. They claim it is common knowledge that Foster has been in a 14 year relationship and lives an Out life however will never say anything about her private life on record.
I don't really understand this. In my view it is her private life. Now if she was walking around actively denying that she was gay it would be a different issue, but she isn't. She just chooses not to comment.
This therefore means that anybody who cares enough to search google will find out that she is gay but she can avoid becoming Ellen Degeneres.
Whilst I don't think stars should go around lying about their sexuality, the should have the choice not to discuss it. For the gay community to jump around getting annoyed because she doesn't carry a rainbow flag everywhere she goes is ridiculous.
That's my to cents on the issue........ Thoughts?
26th March, 2007
Coming Out .... A Strange .... Strange Tale ...
Okay .. I've been reading a few of the other stories .. and I felt the need to tell you mine. Now, before I even begin .. this I believe ... will never be like anyone else's ... ever!
Now ... If you're sat ready ... I'll begin.
I'm 18 ... I turned 18 last november (2006) and I was finally happy, i could go out with actual ID and not feel constantly paranoid about the fact I was underage. I could go to the shop and buy alcohol and basically do anything I wanted. So ... I thought, for my new years resolution, i'm going to start enjoying my life a little bit more than the day before.
I met a guy in august 2006, and everything was going great or so I had hoped until NYE night. I was devasted to find a message on msn saying I was dumped ... So, devasted in fact I trashed the outside of his house in anger at 5 am in the morning ....
So ... coming to beginning of february, most of my family have been extremely supersticious, especially my mum who longs to get in touch with her dad (and late mum), and tries at every chance she can get to see a psychic just to find a chance for them to say "Hey, we're fine so stop worrying" kinda thing ...
I worried a little as to what the psychic would say to me, but the excitement was too much to pass up. So, my sister went first, then her friend, then my mum ... and finally me.
So i sat down, in a candlelit room, with this small, petite woman sat in front of me, drinking a large glass of rose wine. (not to mention a few empty glasses on the floor). She asked me some questions, whcih i gave a basic yes or no to .... people i knew, what conditions they were in etc.
THEN ... she turned to me .. and she said .. you're having trouble ... emotionally ... you can't come to terms with .... something .. You're finding it hard ... to ... 'Reveal' yourself. **suddenly my eyes lit up** I couldnt believe what she was saying ... I hoped, wished with all my might that she wouldnt, daren't ask me ....
Then ... she did ... She said .. i've alreadly revealed it to your mum and your sister ... ** MY MOUTH WENT DRY!!** I could have decked the stupid idiotic moron, was she a full shilling? Did she realise what she had done? She kept asking me .. if i was ok .. and ready ... and I turned round and snapped .. No ... I'm not .. do you realise what you have done ... do you understand the concept and coincediences of what you have said?
She asked me to calm down .. but i couldnt ... I couldnt believe it .. I had been outed by a bleedin' PSYCHIC ....
I walked out .. i couldnt face it ... her ... my sister ... especially my mum ...
But ... since then we've talked it over and although she denies ... she just wants me to be happy .. which i'm glad .... now i can actually live the life i was given ....
AHAHA ... told you, this was a story that you wouldnt have heard before =D
19th December, 2006
Coming Out: My Story
I finally distinguished myself on Monday 18th December 2006; the long awaited "Coming Out" was undeniable yet daunting. The hours spent in the traumatism of thought; over the process involved, undoubtedly eased. Voices smashing into my skull of hatred, no more. I can now be myself at the dreaded home without the feeling of anxiety. Therefore an end to a double life.
My mother of which i had made various strenuous attempts to break, I believe now has come to terms with the distinctive mannerisms was entirely enough for me yet to what was to follow was unimaginable to reality. Firstly my grandfather Alexander (Sandy) and Grandmother Janet had no remorse in telling me that they would 'stick by me with PRIDE' (The word i had been longing for.) My auntie Lisa and cousin Corine of whom i regard as one of my close friends; reaction came of no surprise yet added a "Cherry" to that heavenly Cake presenting oneself. The shock hit me at the moment of a reaction from my Uncle who told me that he would 'love me whatever and to do whatever made me happy' this of which meant a lot because my uncle is the definitive stereotype of "A Man".
My Cousin Kevin, the one person who shocked me the most of whom i felt was "the norm" narrow minded person dealt with it in silence. Which at first without doubt came as a relief but when i received a text message from an unknown number that's when the tears flooded my face. 'Kieran it's Kevin, I don't care what you are and fuck everyone else. If you have any problems with anyone, just let me know and i will sort it out for you! Don't worry your my Cousin, no matter what!' to which i replied 'Thank you Kevin, I appreciate it! Have a good time in Australia and i will see you soon.' The unexpected again arrived with a reply ' I will, I meant it Kieran. I'm here for you as much as anyone or more. Don't let anyone bully you or discriminate against you. I will stand up for you no matter what, even if you are or you're not but I accept you for who you are. Just let me know if you need anything, i will always be here for you.' All of this from a 16 year old boy with today's infamous "ghetto" attributes! This just proves that society is changing and although it is hard to "come out" it is worth while. Everyone is different, If everyone was the same what a boring world we would have.
Only time will tell if home life will improve but sealed with a SMS message from my mother which read 'I will always love you and I am here for you one hundred percent! x' there is now hope. I have arose from societies traditional macho expectations with the help of friends of whom i have gratitude for. They're too numerous to be named in their entirety but I love them all. Now with family behind me I feet Relieved, Liberated; the Christmas Present I have always wanted!
My mother of which i had made various strenuous attempts to break, I believe now has come to terms with the distinctive mannerisms was entirely enough for me yet to what was to follow was unimaginable to reality. Firstly my grandfather Alexander (Sandy) and Grandmother Janet had no remorse in telling me that they would 'stick by me with PRIDE' (The word i had been longing for.) My auntie Lisa and cousin Corine of whom i regard as one of my close friends; reaction came of no surprise yet added a "Cherry" to that heavenly Cake presenting oneself. The shock hit me at the moment of a reaction from my Uncle who told me that he would 'love me whatever and to do whatever made me happy' this of which meant a lot because my uncle is the definitive stereotype of "A Man".
My Cousin Kevin, the one person who shocked me the most of whom i felt was "the norm" narrow minded person dealt with it in silence. Which at first without doubt came as a relief but when i received a text message from an unknown number that's when the tears flooded my face. 'Kieran it's Kevin, I don't care what you are and fuck everyone else. If you have any problems with anyone, just let me know and i will sort it out for you! Don't worry your my Cousin, no matter what!' to which i replied 'Thank you Kevin, I appreciate it! Have a good time in Australia and i will see you soon.' The unexpected again arrived with a reply ' I will, I meant it Kieran. I'm here for you as much as anyone or more. Don't let anyone bully you or discriminate against you. I will stand up for you no matter what, even if you are or you're not but I accept you for who you are. Just let me know if you need anything, i will always be here for you.' All of this from a 16 year old boy with today's infamous "ghetto" attributes! This just proves that society is changing and although it is hard to "come out" it is worth while. Everyone is different, If everyone was the same what a boring world we would have.
Only time will tell if home life will improve but sealed with a SMS message from my mother which read 'I will always love you and I am here for you one hundred percent! x' there is now hope. I have arose from societies traditional macho expectations with the help of friends of whom i have gratitude for. They're too numerous to be named in their entirety but I love them all. Now with family behind me I feet Relieved, Liberated; the Christmas Present I have always wanted!
15th December, 2006
coming out..together
19th November, 2006
Coming Out ...The Modern Way
I've been 'out' now for just over 6 months, and I have to say it's probably one of the best things I've ever done in my life. I just feel so comfortable and relaxed with myself these days that I've never really looked back.
I used to try and hide it all the time - especially during the school years! I even bought my weekly copy of 'Zoo' and always commented on how big some girls tits were..the proper straight boy!
There was only one main reason why I came out really - and it's kind of a strange/selfish one! Basically, at the time I was working on the production team of 'The Price Is Right', which was due to be filmed in Manchester. The crew was made up of about 95% gay boys and the rest were girls. So going through my head was 'If I keep this straight boy act up, I'm going to be left on my own when it comes to going out on the town! - The girls will have their own little group, the gay guys will totter down Canal Street and I'll be all on my own!'
So for that reason, and that reason alone I HAD to come out...and the first person I told - by text message - was a guy called Tim who worked on the production too. bit of a strange first person to tell, I know! The only reply I got from him - which made me feel totally comfortable with myself was 'Welcome to the fold...'
After that I started telling everyone - but I couldn't quite face up to speaking the words, so I did it all by text! Some of you will think I took the coward's way out, but it just made things alot easier for me.
My Mum's reply? 'I already knew, but thanks for having the guts to tell me. You're my son and I'll always love you no matter what'
My best mate's reply? 'Wow - I'm shocked, but that's cool! What would you rate me out of 10?!'
So to anyone who hasn't come out yet - I know how scary it is, but beleive me, it's SUCH a weight off your mind and to other people it's not that much of a shock at all - especially if they already had guessed anyway!
15th September, 2006
The Day I Came Out!
KNOWING WHAT TO EXPECT
Most Follow Typical Stages
The purpose of this is to inform gay and lesbian young adults about the process most parents go through when their child
Most Follow Typical Stages
The purpose of this is to inform gay and lesbian young adults about the process most parents go through when their child